J. Pedro Ribeiro

Book Notes #2 - No Hard Feelings

November 24, 2019

A mixture of self-help and workplace guide, No Hard Feelings: Emotions at Work and How They Help Us Succeed , by Liz Fosslien & Mollie West Duffy, is a must have for anyone trying to understand and deal with a typical office workplace.

Not only the content is engaging but the illustrations are so spot-on that makes the chapters fly like a conversation. Another 5-star rating on my GoodReads.

Here are my highlights:

  1. “In modern business, collaboration is next to godliness”. But the downside to more collaboration is more conflict. (p.11)
  2. Success depends on learning how to let emotion into the workplace without letting it run wild. By confronting our envy, we learn what drives us. (p.11)
  3. You can also try a technique called reappraisal […] reframing their stress as excitement. (p.38)
  4. Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action. (p.44)
  5. Ask your manager to define outcome rather than processes. (p.56)
  6. Ordinary, incremental progress makes us happier and more engaged. (p.56)
  7. Ask open-ended questions […] “How might we…“. (p.56)
  8. The opportunity to level up is largely driven by you, by what you choose to absorb, by who you choose to learn from. (p.62)
  9. (On asking for a raise) “I don’t want my salary to be a distraction to me while I am in this role”. (p.98)
  10. Ask what not why: Why questions stir up negative emotions; what questions keep us curious. (p.101)
  11. Don’t rely on emotions (when making decisions). (p.104)
  12. In a study of married couples, those who remain calm during arguments are the happiest and longest lasting. (p.141)
  13. Diversity is having a seat at the table, inclusion is having a voice, and belonging is having that voice be heard. (p.185)
  14. Employees who do not switch from “I” to “we” during the first 6 months are more likely to leave. (p.190)
  15. The best managers are shit umbrellas. When the shit hits the fan, they do what they can to protect their team form the emotional fallout. (p.213)

Liked this post? Read my other book notes or buy the book from Amazon.


J. Pedro Ribeiro

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I’m a Brazilian front-end developer living in London. This website features some of my latest projects and my thoughts on anything web related.
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