Book Notes #2 - No Hard Feelings
November 24, 2019
A mixture of self-help and workplace guide, No Hard Feelings: Emotions at Work and How They Help Us Succeed , by Liz Fosslien & Mollie West Duffy, is a must have for anyone trying to understand and deal with a typical office workplace.
Not only the content is engaging but the illustrations are so spot-on that makes the chapters fly like a conversation. Another 5-star rating on my GoodReads.
Here are my highlights:
- “In modern business, collaboration is next to godliness”. But the downside to more collaboration is more conflict.
- Success depends on learning how to let emotion into the workplace without letting it run wild. By confronting our envy, we learn what drives us.
- You can also try a technique called reappraisal […] reframing their stress as excitement.
- Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.
- Ask your manager to define outcome rather than processes.
- Ordinary, incremental progress makes us happier and more engaged.
- Ask open-ended questions […] “How might we…“.
- The opportunity to level up is largely driven by you, by what you choose to absorb, by who you choose to learn from.
- (On asking for a raise) “I don’t want my salary to be a distraction to me while I am in this role”.
- Ask what not why: Why questions stir up negative emotions; what questions keep us curious.
- Don’t rely on emotions (when making decisions).
- In a study of married couples, those who remain calm during arguments are the happiest and longest lasting.
- Diversity is having a seat at the table, inclusion is having a voice, and belonging is having that voice be heard.
- Employees who do not switch from “I” to “we” during the first 6 months are more likely to leave.
- The best managers are shit umbrellas. When the shit hits the fan, they do what they can to protect their team form the emotional fallout.
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